Is Academia for Extroverts?
Before reading your letter, I had never consciously thought about how marketed academia can be towards introverts. In subtle ways but also explicitly at times too. Especially with the sort of dark academia type aesthetics of alone in a cozy library surrounded by more books than could even fit open on a wooden table. Or the coffee shop, headphones in, focused work image too. Neither of those aesthetics really scream extroverts.
And I have to say, I don’t inherently think my experience doing the PhD felt conducive to being extremely social and I never really considered it in that way before. There were moments I realized it when I couldn’t align my schedules with friends to co-work together or if we needed different environments like library vs coffee shops vs working at home with our second screens, where I realized how this wasn’t set up to be social in the way that it was during undergrad or even some of grad school when you can write or read together after class.
I mostly felt lonely during the PhD because of the original contribution aspect - even if you have someone to talk through it with, it still inherently has to come from you, your voice, your perspectives and research. But I had only moments of thinking about how the structure of the PhD (especially in a research PhD with no taught component) isn’t designed particularly well for socializing.
Reading this brought up a memory I haven’t thought about in awhile from the first year of my PhD when I accidently got stuck (read: I felt too awkward to sign off once it got started) on an zoom call at the tail end of a mental health conference at a different UK university. When the talks finished, they immediately went into a conversation with the funders on the call and started talking about timelines, logistics, more presentations, etc. and that’s when I realized I had messed up somehow and potentially joined a not-open-to-the-public call (although I think it was but maybe they just thought by the end of the day everyone who didn’t have to be there would have left? Idk). Anyway, one of the suggestions, one of the only suggestions made by the PhD students on the call, was related to socializing. That they would benefit from having more connection with each other, community events, time for them to socialize without it being seen as them not “working hard enough” or whatever.
And I couldn’t tell if it was because it was suggested that this socializing or community time would be sponsored by the funders (i.e. they would pay for the dinner or activity) or not, but there was a strange push back. Or a vibe of like “oh we don’t do that here”. Which was interesting at the time because they seemed to sort of placate the PhD researchers - who mind you are studying mental health in some capacity and so could back up their ask with actual studies if they wanted to - without committing to anything.
Which leads me to say, maybe academia was never set up for extroverts. That it wasn’t designed with folks in mind who feel energized with collaboration, processing aloud, connecting over information and exchange of ideas, or otherwise “peopleing” in their day-to-day activities.
But just because it doesn’t appear to be designed as such, doesn’t mean it can’t be changed or rather adapted by you for you. So I do think there is room for you (and other extroverts) to thrive. I think though that it will take a lot of intentionality and coordinating on your own behalf though.
It might be organizing more - organizing socials, more after work get togethers, or weekend events.
It might mean scheduling co-working times during the week, setting the expectation for 15 minutes (or so) of social time on arrival and then everyone works together. Maybe that’s a time to add in music or podcasts into your headphones if you want to keep some social sounds going.
It also might be researching other labs or groups or centers (related to your work) meeting schedules to ask if you could present or attend - adding more to your social time.
It also could look like you joining a professional society or even a recreational sports team or community class where you get more social interaction (both with or without talking about your work directly, depending on what you want).
There are also groups online on platforms like Discord, Circle, Patreon, or Kofi where people host communities that you could be apart of that, just in case your department is spread out off-campus one time or having their own quiet days, that you could still find social connection and have space to chat all things academia.
I don’t think you are being ungrateful at all for realizing a system isn’t meeting your needs. Even if you are feeling lucky to have the connections, support, and social life with your department as you do, it’s okay to notice and say “I need something different” or “I need more of X”.
You’re allowed to WANT to thrive and figure out how to make that happen. You’re allowed to say oh this DOESN’T work for me. You’re allowed to say I NEED more.
Could you try to take on your whole university’s ecosystem and social landscape to try to create longer lasting change? Sure.
But as someone who just finished a PhD, it is also okay if you only have the capacity to take care of yourself and your needs right now.
I believe in you!
Til next Sunday,
Dr. Sydney Conroy
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