How do I keep my cool giving a talk at an international conference or even impress a few people?
Dear Stage Frightened Undergrad,
Public speaking will be an anxiety for people until the end of time, I suspect. So let’s start this off acknowledging how human this is of you. It doesn’t matter if you’re an undergrad or a professor or a motivational speaker or a keynote - people tend to experience varying levels of anxiety or fear or worry when getting up on a stage. It is not a reflection on your knowledge or worthiness or deservedness to be nervous, anxious, or afraid before and during your talk. It is very human of you.
That said, I spotted a couple areas where some mindset shifts might be helpful to you!
The mindset shifts:
Impressing people → connecting to people
You have no control over what people’s impression of you will be or what their threshold for ‘impressive’ is. Striving to be impressive leads you down a road of chasing external validation. Elusive validation at that.
I would encourage you to shift your mindset for this talk to connecting with people. You can look at that through a couple lens: connecting with people at the conference (as in networking) or connecting as in engaging people in your talk or topic. These are things you do have control over and are arguably more important than striving to be ‘impressive’. Connections are what bring collaborations and new opportunities and innovation. Which I imagine, although this is an assumption, is what you are hoping to get at when you talk about impressing people.
Experts and professionals have just as much to learn from fresh perspectives and younger folks in the academic sphere
Something that I love about education these days is the shift toward interdisciplinary and/or multidisciplinary focus because I believe the impact is that many people in undergraduate programs are currently making connections and bringing over knowledge from a variety of spheres than generations before them.
Which means people who have been in the field a long time have much to learn from those who are looking at the field in new ways. While you don’t have any control over if they already feel open to learning from someone who is at the beginning of their career in the field, that doesn’t actually prohibit them from intaking new information during your talk.
I hope that brings you some confidence in what you are going to be giving a talk about; it is not you being an imposter on a stage in front of people who have years of knowledge, it is you bringing fresh eyes and knowledge, and new perspectives on your shared field.
Careers and reputations are not built or destroyed by a nervous talk (especially the first)
I am certain that many academics, professors, and researchers have all given talks that would have considered ‘not good’ or ones that they were so nervous about that they don’t even remember the talk. And let me tell you, they don’t get barred from publishing in journals or hiring PhD students or getting grants. It is one of those times where two things can be true at once: the talk is important & meaningful AND the talk is not the single moment your future hinges on.
This talk - your first too, least we forget! - is not the defining moment of your reputation or career; it is honestly not even a good reflection on your skills to do the work in your field. It is practice in learning how to present information and engage in audience in your field.
It’s okay to want it to go well and want to give a talk that you are proud of, AND it is okay if you stumble over your words or lose your place in the presentation or feel unprepared to answer a question.
Those things aren’t even mutually exclusive.
Lower the pressure for yourself.
You can also throw out the disclaimer that this is your first talk so ‘bear with me through the anxiety’ at the start of your talk if you think that will be helpful to name in front of everyone (people have varying opinions on this so do whatever works for you).
Some ‘to-trys’ on the days before or day of your talk:
Practice
This doesn’t have to look like practicing in front of people or creating a script, although it could. It might be flicking through the slides, if you have any, and adding any notes, it might be speaking it out loud to yourself, it might be timing yourself, it might be recording yourself and then watching it back. But the more familiar you are with your talk, the hope is that it translates directly to increased confidence and reduced anxiety toward the material.
Sensory toys while speaking
The play therapist in me will ALWAYS recommend sensory toys, so much so that I tend to have some in whatever bag I happen to be carrying. It can be as small as a fidget ring or as large as a stress ball. I am of the opinion that these are great to bring on stage (as it not only humanizes you, it also brings awareness toward the impact of anxiety for public speaking, and normalizes it for those in the future) but that might not be true of everyone. Try bringing a silent sensory toy with you on stage, as noisy ones could be distracting, if you think it might help ground and regulate you!
‘Mastery Play’ a.k.a. do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and confidence the morning (or just before your talk)
Leading again with my play therapy knowledge, there is a type of play that tends to come up in early play therapy sessions that we call mastery play.
In a therapeutic playroom, this might look like arranging the crayons into rainbow order or sorting through the toy food in the play kitchen set. These are activities that give a sense of accomplishment, achievement, and confidence.
They are tasks that can be finished in a relatively short amount of time which gives the brain a boost and can then allow the movement into other therapeutic work that might be scarier or more intense.
For you, I’d encourage you to do a task or two in a similar vein to give your brain the same boost of feeling like you are able to accomplish what you set your mind to, you’re capable, and you achieved something.
Think tangible, finish-able, and something that wouldn’t create more stress for you, like I wouldn’t recommend ‘inbox 0’ as your task because there are many potential distractions and emotionally activating things that might show up in emails.
Instead think, putting away the dishes from the dishwasher or coloring one page in a coloring book or making the bed. This can set your brain and body up to feeling good as you walk onto the stage.
Additionally, don’t forget to drink your water and eat something and stretch before your talk. Be as kind and aware of your body as usual or slightly more. Set yourself up as best as you can to give the talk you want!
I believe in you.
Til next Sunday,
Dr. Sydney Conroy
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