How Can I Be a Better Networker at a Conference?
As someone who has stood in my fair share of corners at conferences, I really empathize with what it feels like when there isn’t an obvious connection to people who (in my case), I felt like would understand academic me more than anyone else besides my research centre mates; people who have read many of the same papers as me, have similar citation lineages, and spend their time turning over the same topics in their brain. I wanted the social time of conferences to come naturally and feel supportive and connective and often times they just felt like you’re the new kid in middle school and you’re trying to find out how to join the established groups.
Even so, I’ve tried my best to make the most of my time in these spaces and below is most of what I’ve learned and used for conferences.
I tend to think about networking in conferences now in one of two ways: strategic and serendipitous.
For strategic, this is when you want to meet your most cited author or connect with someone you might want to collaborate with, or finally meet up with that one other early career researcher that sent you that email that one time.
To be honest, I personally am not that great at this one because I always realize too late that I haven’t made an effort to look at their picture ahead of time to recognize them in a sea of people. (Sometimes it’s just simply not possible to read the name tags or badges) I tend to forget until it’s too late that it’s only their name I’ve seen over and over, or at best a small photo that is their email icon (if they even have one). It’s never my top to-do list item as I’m boarding whatever form of transportation will get me to the conference to look up their website or LinkedIn profile, but if there is someone you’re interested in meeting specifically (that you’ve never met before), I would recommend a little internet look up to be able to recognize them at the coffee cart.
Additionally, related to ahead of time planning, if you know they are attending because they are presenting or otherwise have shared on social media that they are, it could be worth reaching out through email, LinkedIn, the conference app (as it seems like everyone has an app to message on these days) to see if it is possible to find a moment to meet up in person. I have rarely had any luck with prescheduling during conferences because everything seems to get so busy, but it has happened on occasion so it is worth an effort if there are some people in mind.
I go back and forth on the appropriateness of queuing after a talk, if it is a kind thing to do to someone who just gave a presentation to stand in front of them with others when they very well may want to chug a water and lie down. But then some people invite it. Still others have it thrust upon them. I would play that one by ear to see if it feels like a time you feel is worth meeting them in.
But one way to network at a conference is in this way: intentional. It may not help in the post-event drinks or whatnot, but if you have one or two people who you have purposefully met before during the day, you may be able to join them at a cocktail table. We love a built in social support!
For serendipitous, this is where the age old advice of putting yourself out there comes in and being open to the small moments of connection that other people initiate. I don’t want to leave you with this sort of ideological level of advice (just put yourself out there) so here are some ideas and examples of what has worked for me:
There are subtle way to put yourself out there that become almost like automatic conversation starters - what’s worked for me before is
(1) wearing some sort of pop culture reference piece of clothing for more causal settings related to the conference (I wore my ‘the grilled cheese that he makes in The Devil Wears Prada is a little too burned for having been made by a professional chef. Besides, Nate wouldn’t let Andy grow and evolve’ t-shirt in the queue to get a badge at SXSW EDU and I talked to no less than five people because of it; pretty effortless connection for both of us and it gave me some familiar faces in the crowds for later days),
(2) carrying around sensory toys during talks/ presentations/ workshops/ panels both to help my focus and regulation for learning, but also because I learned people can’t help themselves but comment or even ask to give it a feel, and
(3) having some sort of statement water bottle or notebook or anything else that people might feel comfortable commenting on or giving a compliment about.
So while they may draw some attention to you, they also become conversation starters. Take their opening and make use of their small bid for connection and keep talking. It might mean that you now have someone to go say hi to again when you see them across the room at the dinners, cocktail hours, parties, etc.
Another thing is to give yourself a rule of NO corners. Or go a bit more gentle and say ten minutes in a corner at the beginning for grounding or only one corner for an entire conference. Just some sort of guideline or reminder for yourself that you’re putting in an intentional and thoughtful effort to network more and connect more.
Aligned with this I would suggest no sitting down at empty tables. People may think you’re saving the table or you are needing a social break and therefore might not attempt to join you. If you go sit down at a random semi full table, it encourages connection with people you may not have come across before. This does not mean you’re stuck all night in conversations you don’t enjoy or on the outside of a group the whole evening. It simply gives you the chance for some of those more unexpected connections.
You can also strategically place yourself to hang around the corner of the bar or wherever the drinks are, not a full hover or like standing guard, but a few lingering moments where you might be able to catch someone’s eye who is also overwhelmed deciding where to go and who to talk to. You might be able to commiserate and kick off a conversation right there, finding a table together, and suddenly you’re the one giggling and letting loose.
I go to a lot of play based conferences so organizers have handed me a bingo card before and you have to go around meeting people to cross off squares. If there is anything similar to this, any networking or get to know you play or game, take advantage! It may seem silly or like you are too old or too cool but it’s organized fun for a reason - it’s there as a way to help you meet people and start a conversation.
Lastly, if you see any other corner people or wallflowers, it might be worth it to ask if they want to grab a table or start a conversation with them where they’re at on the wall or in the corner. Consider how that might have made you feel in the past - relived, grateful, thought of, seen - if someone had joined you in the corner. Could you be the one to do that for someone else?
As for WHAT to talk about, I would challenge you to have a few disruptive questions ready. I don’t mean disruptive as antagonistic or inappropriate, but rather disruptive to the flow of anticipated conversation. Rather than a “what do you research” “what university are you from” “what is your role” “where’d you travel from” etc. have a couple questions to start off that might give people a reason to come off the auto-pilot mode that comes on when you’re answering the same question like twelve times a day.
Some ideas for questions are:
“What’s something you were surprised to hear in X today?”
“What’s been your favorite location for this conference that you’ve attended?”
“If you could research one of the subjects presented on today, that you’re not currently researching, what would it be?”
You can also veer away from work a bit:
“What’s the last thing you were really curious about and went down a research rabbit hole on?”
“Do you have any upcoming travel plans?”
“Are you reading or watching anything that you’re loving right now?”
Word and re-word these things in ways that feel comfortable to you, but do have a couple questions in your back pocket for a moment of silence or a slow start to a conversation, etc. Most people feel some level of anxiety and nervousness and worry in social situations like this, especially after lockdowns and social distancing. You’re not alone in this.
Keep in mind not everyone there is going to be a person you connect deeply with or might want to be friends with or is fun to talk to. Watch how you might be ready to internalize an awkward conversation or a flat response as “I shouldn’t have done this” or “I’m too awkward for this” or “No one wants to be my friend” and remind yourself that not everyone is for you, not every conversation or connection is going to be a great match, and that doesn’t mean anything more. It just means y’all didn’t connect. It is not a signal to stop trying or go back to living in the corner.
Remember networking takes practice! It’s rarely something people intuitively know how to do or feel confident in doing. It’s something you try and get a feel for and can get experimental with. Keep a playful mindset with it, and do check in with yourself at the end of the evening to notice what felt good and what felt not so good. That’s information to help you at the next conference, or even the next day of the conference.
I believe in you!
Til next Sunday,
Dr. Sydney Conroy
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