erss @ christs

It’s Emerging Research Seminar Series (ERSS) day at Christ’s!

And I’ll be giving one of the talks.

Public speaking is not something I have always felt comfortable or interested in doing. I mean nine year old Sydney would simply be ill on the spot if she knew she’d one day be giving a talk at Cambridge University at the college where Charles Darwin and John Milton did some thinking and talking. I know that young girl would find it inconceivable to take up space, in public, with her own thoughts and ideas with the backdrop setting of a world famous institution. That some people will enter that room later for her, for her talk, her ideas, her knowledge.

PhD’s I’ve come to realize are of our brain’s own creations - it’s a make up of every book I’ve read, every protest I’ve attended, every drunk conversation with my favorite people that has led to a rambling self-discovery, every Sunday afternoon journal reflection, every world event that has lead me down history lesson rabbit holes. It exists in this world, because I do. I think some times people appear to forget, or actually do forget, that it’s an absolute privilege to have an audience, a listener. To me, to lead a space for any given amount of time, to introduce people to new information or expose them to a new intersection of thoughts, is nothing to do halfheartedly. To me, to use my voice in public, is intentional and something I want to do with integrity. I also want it to be of value to people who show up. Not just a talking out into the abyss about what I am doing for the sake of someone giving me a microphone and projector, but an offering to unravel of a previously held viewpoint, to make an unanticipated connection, to acquire a brand new piece of knowledge.

Now the outcome of that, I have no control over and for the sake of my anxiety, will not make that my responsibility. But the intention for myself, to make use of the privilege, of the practice and experience, to share the moment with people I’ve met across Great Hall tables in ball gowns is something to cherish. Here’s to not tripping like Lizzie McGuire and embarrassing myself into oblivion tonight xx